Tired out

Aug. 23rd, 2010 07:21 pm
ve1ocity_gir1: (Default)
Today was my first day and I got the usual tests from the kids. We didn't go to the kitchen to bake as I had originally planned because the girls decided to act up, whereas the boys were actually fairly quiet and did a lot of work. I had to run after them to get them to do the minimum of work. I have been told that it will take about a month or two to get them settled down and working on things. I am not surprised. It is the average for things to settle down.

It was a bit exasperating, but it wasn't as hard as the other years where I was in a similar situation. It's not that I'm coasting, it's kind of like "Ah...I see what experience can bring me and it is actually coming handy." I don't know if it's just "You know, I heard all of this before and it's pretty much BS, really." or simply the fact that I don't care what they think as long as they respect the rules and actually do work, but it's not as hard as it was with the previous classes. I have hope that we will reach some kind of working understanding and things will go in some fashion. I hope so and we'll see.

I am just tired and surfing the net when I should be napping. I just don't want to sleep all evening and not do anything. Unfortunately, there's almost nothing interesting on anything tonight. God does Monday blow sometimes. I might just start writing again. I'm sort of playing with ideas for the moment, but I kind of want to write a 3-some with Ovie and Elsid and random girl. The idea is starting to build. Soon, I guess.

That's all for now. I think I will nap.
ve1ocity_gir1: (Default)
It feels like it's crunch time now, since Monday is my first day with my students. I ran into them when I was out on the coast today and one of them knows a couple of kids from the town I was at. I told her at first that I knew them...but then I backtracked when she said she would ask about me and I told her that they didn't know me, because they were in Montreal at the time (which is sort of true, really.) that I was there. I don't care to bring my past into the present, but fuck does it seem determined to come back and piss me off. I was sort of upset at first when this encounter happened, because I really don't want people looking me up. I am not who I used to be. That was me almost two years ago and I have changed. I know it.  And I don't want anyone to judge me on the basis of those years. I thought about it and was like fuck it. That's not my business anymore. Living my life well now is my business.

I'm also sort of lonely. I miss the two J's pretty badly at the moment. I was listening to HS J (We've been friends since I was 17 and he was 16. I haven't seen him since 2008) song and I just got this raw wave of almost physical loneliness. I am resisting emailing the 2nd J because I know I just am going to do it because I'm sort of lonely at the moment and Friday's events kind of got me off kilter and despite being a douche sometimes, he was there when I did need him. He had this almost uncanny ability to email me when I was feeling low. But we're no good for each other. So no.

And another friend (whom I will see in Kuujjuaq in a couple of weeks) has been pining after this one other teacher she met at the orientation.And there's another chick and another teaching hooking up and I'm sort of torn between thinking it's nice and wondering again if I will be like my namesake Hel and remain cold and alone.

I am also kind of fucking annoyed at the genetic legacy at the moment. 

My hair has turned red. Yes. RED. How the fuck did it happen, I honestly don't know. The same red I used to dye it when I was younger. Funny. I got surrounded by kids today and they kept stroking my hair. I really felt weird. And I keep getting asked if I am an "Indian". It's starting to really irritate me, to tell the truth. And they don't mean it in a bad way, really. It's just that the two groups really don't interact much. Except for two towns further south, there's almost no interaction. Maybe in Kuujjuaq, but it's rare. So I'm a novelty in that I'm new and not white. And have red hair.

Blah. That's my whining done for the week. I'm as prepared as I can be for the moment in regards to my classes. I am hoping that it goes not as crazy as it used to back in the day. I have hope it's going to work out.

I've been having dreams again that start Ovechkin and Crosby and Tootoo, (I am sure that the latter is because I'm living in the Tundra. I'm actually across the sea from Nunavut) and I am sure that they will multiply once October gets here.

Yeah. I feel a bit better now.  I really have to go to bed now. I want to be there a bit earlier to get things ready and myself ready.

Here's hoping I get some good dreams.

Have also discovered Hetalia Axis Powers and it looks sort of WTF and amusing at the same time.

Cheers
ve1ocity_gir1: (Default)
Today was a different day altogether in that it was sunny! I hadn't seen the sun for almost a week and I did miss it. I went to do some work and then went and sat on the coastline and just enjoyed the weather. It was beautiful and I took pictures and updated my blog. It was a lovely counterpoint to last night's mild douchebaggery, which follows in the cut below:

This is NOT my parade )
Other than that, I managed to get my cleaning done and put clothes away that arrived this last Wednesday. Still waiting on my bag, but I think it will show up in time. It's not a serious, holy shit emergency, but I do need to have the other hoodies and t-shirts that I have in that bag sometime soon. Well, it just means that I will re-buy my favourite hockey shirts and hoodies. But i think it will come.

I did have a lovely talk with A about everything under the sun and I told her about the hockey program and I am still excited about the situation. I am such a bloody fangirl that I am all like "WHOAH! I'm going to be working with Joè Juneau!!" and also looking forward to going to Kuujjuaq to get that training and see how I can get stuff sorted out here and there.

I am also enlisting someone to make me an amautiq with the tails and the hood. Here's a link to show what I am talking about: Amauti info.People are joking that I can carry my groceries in it and then my twins afterwards. I am like "Unless I open my closet and find Sheldon Souray or Crosby or Tootoo or Ovechkin, I highly doubt it" But yeah, I hope I can get it made in black with silver, black, red and white piping.

So yeah, that's it for now. Off to read crap and maybe watch some boxed sets of Dr. Who or Moonlight. I'm in a better mood now that I talked about the situation and I won't dwell on it, because it's not my stuff. I know who I am and where I stand. That's all that matters.
ve1ocity_gir1: (Default)
  • I didn't update here, but I updated my blog. *Shakes head* Heh. I just don't want to NOT do it consistently. I tried one for the Scheff and it all ended up here anyways. I will post a link up in my Profile for those who want to see it, because it's cool and it has ZOMG! Pics!
  • The other reason was that I've been kind of feeling...weird. Not bad weird, but "I gotta evaluate this shit" weird. I like twitter and I like tumblr and blogs...but I don't know...not as fun as they used to be. I love going on them and seeing the things that are there, but it's not like it used to be. Maybe because I've got a job now that it's starting to fall by the wayside? I don't know.
  • The other thing is that I am going to wear a few more different hats here. I am teaching basically a vocational component that is project based, rather than full on academics. I am in a new town and I am the newly appointed academic adviser for the hockey program, which means promoting, keeping reports, selecting kids and flying out to the capital of Nunavik to do workshops for the program. I will also do library duties on top of that, since it's part of my job agreement. That's going to keep me busy and I am happy about that. I want to make it work as well as I can possibly make it and be a good example. I am living in the town where I will work. It's different than before.
  • I have met a few of the other teachers and one has got me just hissing and recoiling in the warning thing. I guess it was because I saw her when I was walking and I had to do something at the post office, since i have just gotten a PO box. She wasn't warm or friendly at all until I told her I was teaching. She then got friendly. But it made me go cold towards her. I did get proof that I can pass for Inuk. (I had people address me in Inuktitut yesterday already. It was interesting. They speak it pretty fast here) and I can't help but to just wonder why my radar was all off the mark with that girl. And I have a suspicion that it was because she may have thought I was a transplant from another community. She tried to test me by asking where I had worked before and I could see she was like "oh" when I told her this was my 4rth year in a Northern community, 5th year teaching and I did the South Korea stint. Moral of the story-don't fucking judge people. You will get more than you have bargained for.
  • Other than that, the rawness and the feeling of the land being so primal has got me entranced. The waters on the Hudson Bay are so dark blue and tempest-tossed today that I can't help but to stare at them in wonder. The coastline is quite beautiful in its own way. I just love it here...how close it feels to the earth and how the rocks are like the bones of the land, you know?
  • Have almost finished unpacking. Put up the posters today. I will see about getting shelves to put up my collection. In time. Started writing more on the penultimate part. Will hopefully tie it up soon.
  • That's all for now.

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